“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” – Colossians 3:19
What Does The Bible Say About Mistreating Your Wife
The Bible teaches that marriage is a sacred relationship where love, respect, and kindness should guide how a husband treats his wife. Mistreating your wife is a serious matter because it goes against God’s design for marriage and His command for love. A husband is called to care for his wife with gentleness and understanding, ensuring that their actions and words build her up rather than tear her down.
When a husband mistreats his wife, it brings harm not only to her but also to their marriage, family, and spiritual life. The Bible emphasizes the importance of valuing your wife, honoring her, and treating her as an equal partner. Love should be shown through actions, not just words, and a husband must demonstrate patience, compassion, and humility in their relationship.
The way a husband treats his wife is a reflection of his relationship with God, and a heart filled with love and respect will lead to a marriage that pleases Him.
Also Read: Bible Verses for Hurting Wife
God’s Design for Marriage
Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect His love and faithfulness. Treating your wife with respect and love honors this covenant and brings glory to God. Mistreating your wife contradicts His design and leads to discord and pain. Scripture provides wisdom to ensure that husbands uphold their responsibility to cherish their wives.
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.”
1 Peter 3:7
“The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women, they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.”
Colossians 3:19
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
Proverbs 31:28-29
“Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: ‘Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!’”
Genesis 2:24
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife. They become one flesh.”
The Dangers of Harsh Words
Words have immense power to build up or tear down. A husband’s words can either nurture his wife or harm her. Mistreating your wife through harsh words damages trust and intimacy in the marriage. God’s Word reminds us to speak life, showing care and consideration at all times.
Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.”
Ephesians 4:29
“Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.”
James 1:19
“Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.”
Proverbs 18:21
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”
Matthew 12:36
“Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously.”
Love as Christ Loved
Christ’s love for the church serves as the ultimate model for how husbands should love their wives. It’s a sacrificial, unconditional love that prioritizes the well-being of the other. By following this example, husbands can create a relationship built on trust, care, and deep respect.
John 13:34
“Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another.”
Ephesians 5:2
“Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others.”
1 John 4:19
“We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.”
Romans 12:10
“Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.”
Respect and Honor
Respect and honor are vital in marriage, reflecting the value you place on your spouse. Disrespect or dishonor diminishes the sacred bond God has established. By treating your wife with dignity, you mirror God’s respect for each individual He created.
1 Corinthians 7:3
“The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.”
Romans 12:18
“If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody.”
1 Peter 2:17
“Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.”
Philippians 2:3
“Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.”
Proverbs 31:10
“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.”
The Consequences of Mistreating Your Wife
Mistreating your wife has spiritual, emotional, and relational consequences. It hinders your prayers, breaks trust, and creates a cycle of pain. God’s Word warns of the repercussions of dishonoring the marital relationship and encourages repentance and restoration.
Malachi 2:14
“God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife.”
Proverbs 11:29
“Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air.”
Galatians 6:7
“Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest.”
Luke 6:38
“Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing.”
Matthew 19:6
“Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.”
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
No relationship is free from mistakes. Mistreating your wife requires genuine repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. God’s grace offers healing and restoration when both spouses commit to honoring Him in their relationship.
Matthew 6:14
“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others.”
James 5:16
“Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.”
Colossians 3:13
“Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.”
2 Corinthians 5:18
“All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other.”
Matthew 5:24
“Leave your gift at the altar. First make things right with your brother, then come back and work things out with God.”
Walking in Understanding
Understanding your wife’s needs and emotions is essential in building a harmonious marriage. Scripture encourages husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, fostering peace and unity in the relationship.
Proverbs 24:3
“It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation.”
James 3:17
“Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps.”
Proverbs 3:13
“You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom, when you make friends with Madame Insight.”
Psalm 133:1
“How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along!”
Serving with Humility
Marriage thrives when both partners serve each other with humility. A husband mistreating his wife disrupts this balance and defies God’s call to selflessness. Scripture highlights the importance of putting others first, mirroring Christ’s humility in all aspects of life, especially in marriage.
Philippians 2:4
“Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”
Mark 10:45
“That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not to be served—and then to give away his life in exchange for many who are held hostage.”
John 13:14
“If I, the Master and Teacher, washed your feet, you must now wash each other’s feet.”
Galatians 5:13
“It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows.”
Romans 12:10
“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.”
Christian Quotes on Mistreating Your Wife
“Marriage is not about finding the right person, but becoming the right person in Christ to love selflessly.” — Timothy Keller
“The way you treat your spouse is the greatest testimony of your relationship with God.” — Tony Evans
“A godly marriage is a reflection of God’s love for His people; mistreating your spouse dishonors that sacred covenant.” — John Piper
“Love in marriage means laying down your life, not demanding your rights.” — Francis Chan
“Marriage is the union of two forgivers. Harshness and mistreatment have no place in a Christ-centered marriage.” — Billy Graham
“The success of your marriage will depend on how well you love your spouse as Christ loves you.” — Joyce Meyer
“To love your wife is to treat her as God has treated you—with grace, mercy, and patience.” — Charles Stanley
“The vows of marriage are not about convenience but about covenant—a sacred promise to honor, love, and cherish.” — Priscilla Shirer
“Marriage is God’s masterpiece, designed to reflect His love. Dishonor it, and you dishonor God.” — Andy Stanley
“Your wife is not your property; she is your partner, and your calling is to honor her as Christ honors the church.” — Craig Groeschel
Final Thought
Marriage is a divine covenant established by God to mirror His love for the church. The way a husband treats his wife speaks volumes about his faith and commitment to God. Mistreating one’s spouse not only damages the marital bond but also disrespects the sanctity of God’s design for marriage. By prioritizing love, humility, forgiveness, and service, husbands can cultivate a Christ-centered relationship that honors God and blesses their home. Let these scriptures and insights from renowned preachers inspire you to love deeply and unconditionally, as Christ has loved us.